Major news coming in '09 ... NOT

Some of the stories we’re going to watch for in 2009 but probably won’t find:

Forest Service, BLM hand reins to Trout Unlimited: In an admission that their land-management policies under the Bush administration have been dominated by the extractive industry, the U.S. Forest Service and the Bureau of Land Management have opted to turn over all management of public lands to the conservation group Trout Unlimited.

“Hey, those guys in Washington were only in it for the money,” said one BLM employee. “Finally, with a new administration, I can go back to managing the land for the resources itself, not for the energy companies or logging companies.”

Trout Unlimited has long been an advocate of conserving, protecting and wise management of natural resources.

“Gee, thanks,” said a TU spokesman.